Last night I had the strangest, most vivid dream in a long time. And it involved many of my hobbies/intrests at once. I wish I could remember more of the plot line, but I'll try to sum up what I do remember.
I was sending my minions from the game Overlord to attack a group of Stormtroopers. As you would imagine, during this time I was consulting with my gypsy kumpania as to the best strategy, specifically, new member Veronica Mars.
Don't judge me.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Theme
Previously in this blog I had a theme. Every post had a title from an R.E.M. song that I tried to tie in with the subject matter. I moved away from that, in much the way I loved all things R.E.M. and slowly moved away from fanaticism in that band to just liking them. Now I feel like I need something else to fill that gap.
I had a chat with a friend about a month ago and she told me she hopes I don't get into a relationship soon. On its face, that seems like a d!ck thing to say, but the reasons behind it are anything but. She doesn't want to see me rush into a relationship without finding someone who is really good for me. I don't have that right now, I don't see it on the horizon, and, most terrifyingly, in order to find this, I need to hunt outside the pack. The tribe doesn't contian that person at this time, so I need to reach out and meet new people. While I think of myself as a social animal, I, as most peple do, get nervous meeting new folk, especially if I'm thinking about dating them.
So, dear readers, I look to you for help. What's my next step?
I had a chat with a friend about a month ago and she told me she hopes I don't get into a relationship soon. On its face, that seems like a d!ck thing to say, but the reasons behind it are anything but. She doesn't want to see me rush into a relationship without finding someone who is really good for me. I don't have that right now, I don't see it on the horizon, and, most terrifyingly, in order to find this, I need to hunt outside the pack. The tribe doesn't contian that person at this time, so I need to reach out and meet new people. While I think of myself as a social animal, I, as most peple do, get nervous meeting new folk, especially if I'm thinking about dating them.
So, dear readers, I look to you for help. What's my next step?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Things I find Interesting
Let's start with stuff I like:
A lot of folk I know can get a little obsessed with historical accuracy, but a bit for creative license in my mind is OK. Sometimes, though, it goes too far. Checjk out some of the worst offenders.
I love all things film. Even more I love films within films and fake trailers. For proof of this, check out what's coming soon from Elmwood Productions: The Master of Funk Fu. Now add to this my ridiculous love of Quentin Tarintino and you have Nation's Pride, or as I prefer to call it, Pure Gold!
Netflix is going to allow users to stream to the iPhone soon. How cool is that?
Machete is finally getting made as a feature film, with a great cast. Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, Robert DeNiro, Jonah Hill, and, of course, Danny Trejo.
A lot of folk I know can get a little obsessed with historical accuracy, but a bit for creative license in my mind is OK. Sometimes, though, it goes too far. Checjk out some of the worst offenders.
I love all things film. Even more I love films within films and fake trailers. For proof of this, check out what's coming soon from Elmwood Productions: The Master of Funk Fu. Now add to this my ridiculous love of Quentin Tarintino and you have Nation's Pride, or as I prefer to call it, Pure Gold!
Netflix is going to allow users to stream to the iPhone soon. How cool is that?
Machete is finally getting made as a feature film, with a great cast. Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, Robert DeNiro, Jonah Hill, and, of course, Danny Trejo.
And things I could do without:
Spielberg has decided to remake Harvey. Really, Steve?
OK, people, get this straight. Barack Hussein Obama was born in Hawaii and is the President. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's the way it is. EVERYONE with legitimate authority agrees. You Birthers are nuts.
Heckling Democratic Congressmen & women who are holding Town Hall meetings. You don't have to like the person, you don't have to like their politics and policies, but, really, have some respect. Engage them in the process, debate, don't shout, and heckle.
And while we're on the subject, the whole Tea Party folk. Please remember the orginal Boston Tea Party was a bunch of rich guys who didn't like that they were making less money because of taxes. So are you. When you're backed by Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh, you're not a people's movement.
Calling President Obama racist. Both Rush Limbaugh and Glen Beck of Fox News. Is it really so wrong of me to expect better?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Back?
I have been horrible about updating lately, so let me do that now.
Been doing a lot of work with Elmwood lately. I directed and wrote 3 shorts that we filmed back on 7/26 as well as a short that Kelly wrote. As part of that I'm learning how to edit, and while I'm no Spielberg or anything, I'm learning the ins and outs of Microsoft Movie Maker. To see what I've learned check out the trailer for Lock and Load over at The Lock and Load Blog.
The Master of Funk-Fu is our other project, a ridiculous parody of all things explotive in film. 3 parts blaxploitation, 2.6 parts Kung-Fu flick, 1 part ridiculous wigs, all ridiculous. The website for that is coming soon.
Real life is going slow. Trying to get on my feet. We'll see where I land.
Been doing a lot of work with Elmwood lately. I directed and wrote 3 shorts that we filmed back on 7/26 as well as a short that Kelly wrote. As part of that I'm learning how to edit, and while I'm no Spielberg or anything, I'm learning the ins and outs of Microsoft Movie Maker. To see what I've learned check out the trailer for Lock and Load over at The Lock and Load Blog.
The Master of Funk-Fu is our other project, a ridiculous parody of all things explotive in film. 3 parts blaxploitation, 2.6 parts Kung-Fu flick, 1 part ridiculous wigs, all ridiculous. The website for that is coming soon.
Real life is going slow. Trying to get on my feet. We'll see where I land.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Update
I'd like to get back to posting here regularly, but it just hasn't been in me with everything else going on.
The house has a contract on it. When all is said and done I will have lost between $5000 and $10000 on the house just this year and destroyed my credit. I'm trying to get the last $4000 of this so that I can get out from under the albatross that the divorce has been.
This Friday I throw some grass seed in the back yard as part of the contract.
When I figure out where the money is coming from, I'll post more. I've got some loans for now. So, help me out, click on the ad links, that pays me.
The house has a contract on it. When all is said and done I will have lost between $5000 and $10000 on the house just this year and destroyed my credit. I'm trying to get the last $4000 of this so that I can get out from under the albatross that the divorce has been.
This Friday I throw some grass seed in the back yard as part of the contract.
When I figure out where the money is coming from, I'll post more. I've got some loans for now. So, help me out, click on the ad links, that pays me.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Rambling
This post is going to be rambling, so just deal with it.
One year ago today, Jenn asked me for a divorce. I'm not dealing well with that at all. I've been depressed for the past 2 weeks, in part because of the anniversary, in part because I can't keep going the way I am monetarily. I'm still paying rent and mortgage and bills in two homes. Promised sources of income aren't coming as promised, and I'm freaking out. I could really use a rich uncle or a Powerball win.
I'm not sure when or if I'll be updating again.
Some of you may want to help. I don't know what you can do. Don't invite me out, I can't afford it.
One year ago today, Jenn asked me for a divorce. I'm not dealing well with that at all. I've been depressed for the past 2 weeks, in part because of the anniversary, in part because I can't keep going the way I am monetarily. I'm still paying rent and mortgage and bills in two homes. Promised sources of income aren't coming as promised, and I'm freaking out. I could really use a rich uncle or a Powerball win.
I'm not sure when or if I'll be updating again.
Some of you may want to help. I don't know what you can do. Don't invite me out, I can't afford it.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Late
I know they say better late than never, I'm not always sure about that. Either way, I'm late posting... again. I promised some real commentary today, so here it is.
You've all heard by now the curfuffle involved with the inauguration and the Oath of Office. It was taken twice by the President just to make sure because Chief Justice John Roberts flub. When he retook the oath, President Obama (its going to take a while to get sick of typing that), started off by saying: "we're going to do it very slowly." This is good, this is an amusing historical anecdote.
Here's what wasn't really talked about; part of the oath stated on January 20th, may have, in fact, been illegal. On December 31, 2008 American Attorney and Emergency Medical Physician (is there anything this guy can't do?) Michael Newdow along with 17 other people and 10 seperate groups filed an injunction against Chief Justice Roberts. The contention of the suit was that it was illegal for him to add the words "so help me God" at the end of the Oath. At no time did they claim it was illegal for President Obama to confirm the Oath by adding those four words at the end, only that the one administering the Oath could not require it.
Both Article Two, Section One, Clause Eight and the 22nd Amendment make reference to the President assuming the duties of the office. For purposes of this discussion I'll only be reviewing Article Two, since Amendment 22 only talks about timing of assuming office. This section requires this specifically:
Of note is the possibility of Affirmation in place of Oath. An Oath is typically considered to have religious impact. Since 1695 British law has included the ability to affirm rather than swear, primarily as a concern over Quakers who refused to swear due to religious objections. This is also used by atheists who wish to avoid the same religious implications.
So, this has not been difinitively ruled on yet. The Circuit Court stopped the injunction from proceeding, in part because US District Court Judge Reggie Walton in an oral ruling believed he did not have the authority to stop the Chief Justice from prompting the words, or to keep Obama from saying them. There will be an appeal.
So, what do you think?
Just as a side note, Franklin Pierce, in possibly the best thing he ever did while in office, affirmed rather than swore.
You've all heard by now the curfuffle involved with the inauguration and the Oath of Office. It was taken twice by the President just to make sure because Chief Justice John Roberts flub. When he retook the oath, President Obama (its going to take a while to get sick of typing that), started off by saying: "we're going to do it very slowly." This is good, this is an amusing historical anecdote.
Here's what wasn't really talked about; part of the oath stated on January 20th, may have, in fact, been illegal. On December 31, 2008 American Attorney and Emergency Medical Physician (is there anything this guy can't do?) Michael Newdow along with 17 other people and 10 seperate groups filed an injunction against Chief Justice Roberts. The contention of the suit was that it was illegal for him to add the words "so help me God" at the end of the Oath. At no time did they claim it was illegal for President Obama to confirm the Oath by adding those four words at the end, only that the one administering the Oath could not require it.
Both Article Two, Section One, Clause Eight and the 22nd Amendment make reference to the President assuming the duties of the office. For purposes of this discussion I'll only be reviewing Article Two, since Amendment 22 only talks about timing of assuming office. This section requires this specifically:
Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Of note is the possibility of Affirmation in place of Oath. An Oath is typically considered to have religious impact. Since 1695 British law has included the ability to affirm rather than swear, primarily as a concern over Quakers who refused to swear due to religious objections. This is also used by atheists who wish to avoid the same religious implications.
So, this has not been difinitively ruled on yet. The Circuit Court stopped the injunction from proceeding, in part because US District Court Judge Reggie Walton in an oral ruling believed he did not have the authority to stop the Chief Justice from prompting the words, or to keep Obama from saying them. There will be an appeal.
So, what do you think?
Just as a side note, Franklin Pierce, in possibly the best thing he ever did while in office, affirmed rather than swore.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Lost
Tonight, is many things, or at least a few. My daughter is back at the house tonight, an event I look forward to each Wednesday. We have our first "offical" gathering at the house tonight. And the reason for said gathering, The Season 5 Premiere of Lost is on ABC at 9 pm. To commememorate this, I have added a new gadget to my sidebar. Lost fans, enjoy.
Up next, commentary on the Oath of Office of President of the United States of America. As I have more time around lunch I'll work this up.
Up next, commentary on the Oath of Office of President of the United States of America. As I have more time around lunch I'll work this up.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
For Tuesday
I know I promised to post more often, but haven't yet. This week has been super crazy at work. I DID want to post this, though for use on Tuesday. Live, streaming coverage of the Obama Inaugeration from Hulu.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Post-Catharsis
Doing much better, by the by. I think the post did serve to purge some of the demons. Now the new twist is getting used to living with new people. I'm used to a lot more quiet and alone time. Let me say clearly that this is not necessarily a bad thing, just very different.
I watched Death Bed, The Bed That Eats the other night. Irredeemable crap.
Now I like bad movies, I especially like bad horror movies, and I am grateful that I watched this movie because I think it has helped explain what it is that I like about bad horror movies. Most of the time when a bad movie is made you can sense one of two distinct feels, perhaps motive is a better word: either they know that they are setting out to make a bad movie and attempt nothing better (Slither, Zombi 2) or they would like to make a good movie and are forced to make decisions due to lack of experience or funding (Night of the Living Dead (and yes I'll argue this is a bad and a good movie), Evil Dead).
Death Bed was somewhere in between. Some will argue that it falls into the latter category mentioned above (good intentions, bad funding), but I disagree. Give Romero or Raimi a bigger budget and a skilled effects crew and they could remake those movies to incredible effect (the rest of the Dead series and Evil Dead 2). Writer-Director-Producer George Barry no doubt thought he was in the latter category, but there is no way you can plant that seed and have anything prosper. The premise is incomprehensible, the script is nonsensical, the magical narrator seems to have no way of knowing what he knows, and much of it is an excuse to re-use the effects they had or to show one of the women with her shirt off. Kidnap Spielberg at gunpoint and force him to make this movie and you wouldn't get anything better, just a larger budget. This movie fails on all fronts. Rocket Time was better.
That's all for this rant. Next time... poodles. Or something.
I watched Death Bed, The Bed That Eats the other night. Irredeemable crap.
Now I like bad movies, I especially like bad horror movies, and I am grateful that I watched this movie because I think it has helped explain what it is that I like about bad horror movies. Most of the time when a bad movie is made you can sense one of two distinct feels, perhaps motive is a better word: either they know that they are setting out to make a bad movie and attempt nothing better (Slither, Zombi 2) or they would like to make a good movie and are forced to make decisions due to lack of experience or funding (Night of the Living Dead (and yes I'll argue this is a bad and a good movie), Evil Dead).
Death Bed was somewhere in between. Some will argue that it falls into the latter category mentioned above (good intentions, bad funding), but I disagree. Give Romero or Raimi a bigger budget and a skilled effects crew and they could remake those movies to incredible effect (the rest of the Dead series and Evil Dead 2). Writer-Director-Producer George Barry no doubt thought he was in the latter category, but there is no way you can plant that seed and have anything prosper. The premise is incomprehensible, the script is nonsensical, the magical narrator seems to have no way of knowing what he knows, and much of it is an excuse to re-use the effects they had or to show one of the women with her shirt off. Kidnap Spielberg at gunpoint and force him to make this movie and you wouldn't get anything better, just a larger budget. This movie fails on all fronts. Rocket Time was better.
That's all for this rant. Next time... poodles. Or something.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Breaking out
I mentioned in my last post that some things would change, and, although you may not be aware of it, I have already started. Previously, other than my intermission posts, all posts were titled with an R.E.M. song. Back in the 90's, I was a huge fan and really got into the band. When I built this blog, the first post's title was inspired by a song of their's and I decided to keep it up. But I am throwing that off, not because I don't like the band, but, really, because I'm discarding some of my former baggage, and that seems to be a good metaphorical start.
I'm going to talk a bit about how I feel lately. As I'm sure you are aware, I moved from my home in Southington, to a new home in Bristol. Currently we have a contract to close on the house for January 30, so I am hoping I can close that chapter behind me soon. I made the first drop off of Gwen to her mother at the new house she is renting with some others on Saturday. I had no Christmas tree this year. I spent Christmas without any family around me. I went to someone else's house for New Year's Eve.
All of these things have conspired together to leave me very far outside of my element. I am scared and I am sad. All of this transition at once has left me close to depressed. While I am intellectually aware that getting back together with Jenn would be a bad idea were such a thing even possible (which, again, I am intellectually aware it is not), knowing that Jenn was not coming back and sleeping in the same house as me ever again brought me to tears. Knowing that I won't accidently see Gwen at the house on days that she's with her mother made me cry. I'm angry and sad, and I want my family back, and I know I'm not going to get that. I came very far during my therapy this summer, and now I'm starting to feel like I'm headed in the wrong direction.
But I will not let it get me.
I've been thinking a lot about a great many things in my life. Things I waste time and money on. This will come as a disappointment to some of you, but I am going to be cutting back on my gaming. I will no longer be doing anything game related that takes place outside of the day of game. I will most likely be discontinuing playing some of the LARPs I play in now, and may not replace them with others. I am very sick of the disfunctional relationships that build up around LARPs. I am sick of player drama ("I don't get enough plot", "My chracter can't accomplish anything", "The ST has it out for me", etc). I am sick of ST ego trips. I am sick of the elitism that seems to accompany each group who thinks they are better than another for some reason or another. Frankly, I am sick of people forgetting that it is an activity we choose to do to have fun.
I will be, more than likely, playing more tabletop games, spending time writing for and filming for Elmwood, learning puppetry, working on my productive hobbies, and trying to excel in my career and in those things that bring me true pleasure. Above all I plan to be even more dedicated to my daughter's well-being. I'd like to work on more projects for her, spend more quality time together.
I know this sounds like a depressing post, and for that, I apologize. For me its not depressing, in fact, its been cathartic. I've worked through it, feel better and I am moving on.
To all of you who have read through all of this. Thank you, and know that you are loved.
I'm going to talk a bit about how I feel lately. As I'm sure you are aware, I moved from my home in Southington, to a new home in Bristol. Currently we have a contract to close on the house for January 30, so I am hoping I can close that chapter behind me soon. I made the first drop off of Gwen to her mother at the new house she is renting with some others on Saturday. I had no Christmas tree this year. I spent Christmas without any family around me. I went to someone else's house for New Year's Eve.
All of these things have conspired together to leave me very far outside of my element. I am scared and I am sad. All of this transition at once has left me close to depressed. While I am intellectually aware that getting back together with Jenn would be a bad idea were such a thing even possible (which, again, I am intellectually aware it is not), knowing that Jenn was not coming back and sleeping in the same house as me ever again brought me to tears. Knowing that I won't accidently see Gwen at the house on days that she's with her mother made me cry. I'm angry and sad, and I want my family back, and I know I'm not going to get that. I came very far during my therapy this summer, and now I'm starting to feel like I'm headed in the wrong direction.
But I will not let it get me.
I've been thinking a lot about a great many things in my life. Things I waste time and money on. This will come as a disappointment to some of you, but I am going to be cutting back on my gaming. I will no longer be doing anything game related that takes place outside of the day of game. I will most likely be discontinuing playing some of the LARPs I play in now, and may not replace them with others. I am very sick of the disfunctional relationships that build up around LARPs. I am sick of player drama ("I don't get enough plot", "My chracter can't accomplish anything", "The ST has it out for me", etc). I am sick of ST ego trips. I am sick of the elitism that seems to accompany each group who thinks they are better than another for some reason or another. Frankly, I am sick of people forgetting that it is an activity we choose to do to have fun.
I will be, more than likely, playing more tabletop games, spending time writing for and filming for Elmwood, learning puppetry, working on my productive hobbies, and trying to excel in my career and in those things that bring me true pleasure. Above all I plan to be even more dedicated to my daughter's well-being. I'd like to work on more projects for her, spend more quality time together.
I know this sounds like a depressing post, and for that, I apologize. For me its not depressing, in fact, its been cathartic. I've worked through it, feel better and I am moving on.
To all of you who have read through all of this. Thank you, and know that you are loved.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Departure
This is a twofold announcement. First, just a reminder that tomorrow is Frank Sinatra's birthday. Do something to commemorate it. Have a martini, sing a song, listen to Ol' Blue Eyes sing something, sleep with Laurne Bacall, help a Kennedy win an election, rob a Las Vegas Casino, whatever.
Second, I wanted to let you all know that although this blog has pretty much been on hiatus, this, like a number of things in my life, is a new committment for 2009. Moving out, working out more, eating better, saving money, making money on side jobs, and taking care of myself and my relationships, all of these things will be a new priority come January 1. So expect more from me soon. I'm thinking a minimum of 4 times per week.
Second, I wanted to let you all know that although this blog has pretty much been on hiatus, this, like a number of things in my life, is a new committment for 2009. Moving out, working out more, eating better, saving money, making money on side jobs, and taking care of myself and my relationships, all of these things will be a new priority come January 1. So expect more from me soon. I'm thinking a minimum of 4 times per week.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Ignoreland Nov. 4th Edition
Did you vote today?
Why the hell not?
Are you going to vote today?
Good.
Despite what George Carlin may think, if you don't vote, you don't get the right to complain. I will pimp slap anyone who doesn't vote who complains about anything even vaguely related to this campaign. That includes prices of anything, traffic, the environment and Kenny Rogers.
So get out there and support the candidate of your choice and I hope its the one with the only remedy for the fever that this country has...
Why the hell not?
Are you going to vote today?
Good.
Despite what George Carlin may think, if you don't vote, you don't get the right to complain. I will pimp slap anyone who doesn't vote who complains about anything even vaguely related to this campaign. That includes prices of anything, traffic, the environment and Kenny Rogers.
So get out there and support the candidate of your choice and I hope its the one with the only remedy for the fever that this country has...
Monty Got a Raw Deal
I'm hoping to have multiple posts today. I wanted to start with an example of a group calling itself Christian, having no idea what it means to be Christ-like. Some of you may have heard this already. Apparently, during Gen Con, there was, as per usual, an attempt to raise money for a charity. This year, in commemoration of the death of Gary Gygax, they decided to donate to his favorite charity; the Christian Children's Fund. Over $17,000 was raised to help impoverished children around the world. That donation was rejected out of hand, apparently because some of the money came from the sale of Dungeons and Dragons books.
Let me repeat that. $17,000 was to be donated to a charity and they rejected it because it came from gamers.
Every year, our various roleplaying groups tend to raise at least $1000 in cash to be donated to charity, and a lot more in toys given to Toys for Tots. This charity rejects that. I'd like to find somewhere in the Bible where it says "Take not the money of the gamer, for... um... hold on, there's got to be something... he drinketh the coffee and the Mountain Dew, therefore you should know him as unclean? Does that work?"
Now and then I'd like to have a machine that helps me have a conversation with the guy who started their religion.
Me: So Jesus, a bunch of guys who claim to do what you want rejected a $17,000 donation because it came from a group of people who occasionally sit around a table, roll dice and pretend to be fantasy characters.
Jesus: Say what?
Me: I'm trying to remember the sermon you gave about roleplayers being unholy, can you help me with this.
Jesus: No man, I've got no idea what those crazy m0therf@ck3rs are talking about.
I sent a letter to them in my disgust, and I think I was fairly level-headed for an angry antitheist.
So, many of you know that I have a general contempt for religion and wouldn't have donated to them anyway, but can someone who practices a religion help me out with this?
Let me repeat that. $17,000 was to be donated to a charity and they rejected it because it came from gamers.
Every year, our various roleplaying groups tend to raise at least $1000 in cash to be donated to charity, and a lot more in toys given to Toys for Tots. This charity rejects that. I'd like to find somewhere in the Bible where it says "Take not the money of the gamer, for... um... hold on, there's got to be something... he drinketh the coffee and the Mountain Dew, therefore you should know him as unclean? Does that work?"
Now and then I'd like to have a machine that helps me have a conversation with the guy who started their religion.
Me: So Jesus, a bunch of guys who claim to do what you want rejected a $17,000 donation because it came from a group of people who occasionally sit around a table, roll dice and pretend to be fantasy characters.
Jesus: Say what?
Me: I'm trying to remember the sermon you gave about roleplayers being unholy, can you help me with this.
Jesus: No man, I've got no idea what those crazy m0therf@ck3rs are talking about.
I sent a letter to them in my disgust, and I think I was fairly level-headed for an angry antitheist.
Good morning,
Every year a roleplaying group I am involved with raises hundreds to thousands of dollars to donate to charities. During the crisis around hurricane Katrina our small group of less than 20 was able to make a donation totalling over $1000 raised within the period of 6 days. Recently it has come to my attention that your charitable group refused a donation of more than $17,000 from the organizers of GenCon. I have yet to find a reasonable explanation for this rejection of money to help those in need.
Refusing the donation of this money raised in memory of a man who donated to your organization countless times cannot be considered at all Christ-like. I am confused at the explanation you are giving the children who will not receive this well needed funds. Have you told them that they will not receive the sanitation they need because a gamer wanted to give to them? I have found no mention of this rejection on your website. Have you in any way communicated this rejection to your other donors?
I am confused at your actions, but primarily I am sad for the children. I am in the process of making this rejection aware to my friends, many of whom are gamers, to find alternative charities for donation. Please reconsider this stance as those who are trying to make a difference are trying to aid you.
Thank you,
So, many of you know that I have a general contempt for religion and wouldn't have donated to them anyway, but can someone who practices a religion help me out with this?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Moral Kiosk - update
Friendship is a strange thing. We have rules, ways of behaving that we expect one another to know, one another to live by. Sometimes these rules are spoken aloud; more often then not they are merely assumed. Usually we have no logical creation of these rules, only a deep seated sense that they are right.
When one of these rules is violated we are hurt, severely, but we rarely know what to do. "These rules shouldn't ever be violated," we think "everyone is aware of them."
I want to forgive, but I can't.
I want to hate, but I don't.
When one of these rules is violated we are hurt, severely, but we rarely know what to do. "These rules shouldn't ever be violated," we think "everyone is aware of them."
I want to forgive, but I can't.
I want to hate, but I don't.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Moral Kiosk
Something happened to me this weekend that made me fairly depressed for a while. After chatting with some good friends in person I felt much better. Its amazing how many times you can think that an emotional wound is healed but when rubbed the right way it chafes and burns.
On that note, this may be the first time I've ever posted lyrics in a post other than as a brief quote. It's usually not my style, but as I continue to heal I heard this song and it felt so right.
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right
I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
-Bob Dylan, 1963
On that note, this may be the first time I've ever posted lyrics in a post other than as a brief quote. It's usually not my style, but as I continue to heal I heard this song and it felt so right.
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don't matter, anyhow
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don't know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right
I'm walkin' down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
-Bob Dylan, 1963
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I Wanted to Be Wrong
So, I'm listening to "This American Life" (I've been doing that a lot lately), and this guy is interviewing people about how they feel about him; they all think he's an @$$hol3. He's asking his friends about it, and asks one of them:
"If you think this way about me, why are you still friends with me?"
"I don't know... inertia."
And I thought about that. How many times are we friends with people not because of any real reason we want to be together, but because we have been for so long?
...oh, this isn't a comment about any of my fine readers. I was just thinking of an earlier conversation I had with a friend.
Wanting to be with Jenn on some level was just due to inertia.
So, here's to overcoming inertia.
"If you think this way about me, why are you still friends with me?"
"I don't know... inertia."
And I thought about that. How many times are we friends with people not because of any real reason we want to be together, but because we have been for so long?
...oh, this isn't a comment about any of my fine readers. I was just thinking of an earlier conversation I had with a friend.
Wanting to be with Jenn on some level was just due to inertia.
So, here's to overcoming inertia.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
So, in a vain attempt to avoid doing work, I have, once again, been playing around with Netflix. I now have 414 DVDs in my queue. Assuming that each disk is only 2 hours (which many of them are more, especially if they are a disk of some TV show), it would take me 818 hours, or 34.5 days to watch them all. That's right, I've dedicated 35 days of my future life to watching movies.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Bittersweet Me
We got an offer on the house earlier this week, far below what we could afford to part with it for, so I haven't thought about it a lot. With the offer the woman put down we'd have to shell out $10,000 each AND spend $3000 on tree removal and get rid of the woodstove. Obviously this wasn't going to work. I figured the buyer would move on and forget about us. We countered with an amount where Jenn and I would walk away with $5,000 each and only remove the woodstove and there were a series of back and forths between our Realtor and the buyer. Finally she came back with a deal whereby the two of us would lose a total of $1000 on the house and have to remove the woodstove.
As of 45 minutes ago I said yes.
Why? Why did I say yes? I made it very clear to Jenn that I wouldn't accept any deal that lost us money. I can't afford to shell out $500. I'm just not as strong as I keep thinking I am. Jenn really wants this, I want out, but I want out with some cash in my pocket. I've been making plans based on putting a little money down on a condo, now I'm broke.
So, Why? Because ending this chapter is worth it. I can really actually finish the mourning process when I'm not wondering if she's there. I can start dating without thinking about planning.
I decided to cheer myself up by reading friends' old blog entries. I read Jim's blog, all of it, and then I moved on to Jon's. And I cried. I wept, quietly, since I'm at my desk at work. But I read a post about Jon's brother and I lost it. I've been thinking about my life a little bit differently since then.
OK, I'm done with the overly emotional personal messages.
Now I'm looking for a roomate and a 3 bedroom for a fairly cheap price. My goal is 2 years in one place, then buying again.
As of 45 minutes ago I said yes.
Why? Why did I say yes? I made it very clear to Jenn that I wouldn't accept any deal that lost us money. I can't afford to shell out $500. I'm just not as strong as I keep thinking I am. Jenn really wants this, I want out, but I want out with some cash in my pocket. I've been making plans based on putting a little money down on a condo, now I'm broke.
So, Why? Because ending this chapter is worth it. I can really actually finish the mourning process when I'm not wondering if she's there. I can start dating without thinking about planning.
I decided to cheer myself up by reading friends' old blog entries. I read Jim's blog, all of it, and then I moved on to Jon's. And I cried. I wept, quietly, since I'm at my desk at work. But I read a post about Jon's brother and I lost it. I've been thinking about my life a little bit differently since then.
Jon, I know you're away this weekend and might not read this until Monday, or at all, but that being said I wanted to comment on how you touched my life. Wow, that sounds sappy, but so what.
A few weeks ago I was leaving an Elmwood meeting and you were standing outside talking, I think with Tricky. You looked up at me as I got in the car and said "I love you, man." At the time I replied without thinking, but as I drove away, I thought it was an odd thing to say; I appreciated it, but I thought it was odd. I thought about it again after I read through some posts, and I have this to say:
I love you, man.
OK, I'm done with the overly emotional personal messages.
Now I'm looking for a roomate and a 3 bedroom for a fairly cheap price. My goal is 2 years in one place, then buying again.
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