Yesterday was shaping up to be another, very long one, but, thankfully, I got out after only 8 hours here. As of 3:30 pm yesterday I had already put in 30 hours of work. Today, I'll pull another 8 or so, and tomorrow, if I can, I'm going to leave early.
We had two showings of the house on Tuesday, I'm hoping there is some movement on it. Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but I'm ready to move on. It is hard the way things are now, almost a sort of limbo.
Gwen and I went to the Elmwood meeting last night, and I don't think I was really needed. I think, perhaps, in the future, I'll talk to Jon before I go. I offered to drive out to get the supplies, since I couldn't really take care of Gwen and help construction, but the ladies wanted to smoke in the car, so they went without me.
I've been feeling a bit like a 5th wheel a lot lately. The guy who has to make arrangements around his daughter. No I can't go out drinking on Friday. I can be there on Wednesday, but I'll have to bring the baby and leave on time to get her home. I feel like people don't understand the responsibility. And when I don't have her I'm feeling a bit left out because people are trying to plan around me. This weekend I got left alone working on something for a bunch of people while they socialized without me. All of that being said, though, is not a request for sympathy, nor a discussion of how bad I feel. How I feel is on me, I own that. This is more of an observation on how people treat me. Not all, some.
So, I started this 2 hours ago, but work has forced me to put off finishing it a few times now. I'll conclude with a quote.
"Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, cars, sidewalks, stores. Everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man." - Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver
"When so many are lonely… as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone. " - Tennessee Williams