Thursday, July 17, 2008

Life, and how to live it.

Yesterday was shaping up to be another, very long one, but, thankfully, I got out after only 8 hours here. As of 3:30 pm yesterday I had already put in 30 hours of work. Today, I'll pull another 8 or so, and tomorrow, if I can, I'm going to leave early.

We had two showings of the house on Tuesday, I'm hoping there is some movement on it. Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but I'm ready to move on. It is hard the way things are now, almost a sort of limbo.

Gwen and I went to the Elmwood meeting last night, and I don't think I was really needed. I think, perhaps, in the future, I'll talk to Jon before I go. I offered to drive out to get the supplies, since I couldn't really take care of Gwen and help construction, but the ladies wanted to smoke in the car, so they went without me.

I've been feeling a bit like a 5th wheel a lot lately. The guy who has to make arrangements around his daughter. No I can't go out drinking on Friday. I can be there on Wednesday, but I'll have to bring the baby and leave on time to get her home. I feel like people don't understand the responsibility. And when I don't have her I'm feeling a bit left out because people are trying to plan around me. This weekend I got left alone working on something for a bunch of people while they socialized without me. All of that being said, though, is not a request for sympathy, nor a discussion of how bad I feel. How I feel is on me, I own that. This is more of an observation on how people treat me. Not all, some.

So, I started this 2 hours ago, but work has forced me to put off finishing it a few times now. I'll conclude with a quote.

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, cars, sidewalks, stores. Everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man." - Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver

"When so many are lonely… as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone. " - Tennessee Williams

1 comment:

I'm Jon, just a guy. I try to smell good. said...

Man,
People who don't have alot of experience with frinds having kids have a tough time figuring it out. Same thing with married friends, and divorced friends. When you're among the first in a group to to it, alot of people aren't sure how to handle it. I was the first person in my group to be married, and the first divorced, and both times EVERYONE treated me differnt. I was also one of the first to date someone with kids, and people had a hard time with that too. As time slips by the crew you're with will evolve. I've met alot of these cats, they're all good cats, but some might lack some life experience that you have under your belt. When they catch up or get used to it, it'll all fall back into place.
Just some time...
And, yeah, I'm gonna make you work more from now on, hahahaha!!!!JB